yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
