he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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