How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
