What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Someone signed my nipple.
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