I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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