remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
