Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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