If that was your dad, he is hot
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
