hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
