just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
