Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
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We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
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Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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