life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
