why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i think i just lost a toe
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
