i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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