I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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