i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dick very happy bro
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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