Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
