moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
accomplished twins. life is a go
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My bed smells like the plague
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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