Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize