This is not my ceiling
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Boobs speak an international language.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
