Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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