Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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