At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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