Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
