I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
