i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
