Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
