:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
operation have a gay friend backfired
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
