you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
