Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
