How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
