glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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