just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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