atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
