Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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