god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
