i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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