I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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