I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think people are normalizing furries
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
