Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested

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  (541): so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested http://tfl.nu/888p
  Replies (22) Good night (563) Bad night (2445)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?

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  (615): How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"? http://tfl.nu/jnls
  Replies (20) Good night (1397) Bad night (5596)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.

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  (586): She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/fg6t
  Replies (13) Good night (6623) Bad night (1525)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.

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  (412): I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on. http://tfl.nu/5fm3
  Replies (30) Good night (10279) Bad night (1596)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...

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  (631): Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit... http://tfl.nu/oz8a
  Replies (11) Good night (4840) Bad night (1424)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.

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  (810): There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry. http://tfl.nu/kj1j
  Replies (2) Good night (2873) Bad night (707)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere

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  (617): i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere http://tfl.nu/fh2k
  Replies (4) Good night (2579) Bad night (813)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.

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  (917): This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts. http://tfl.nu/i0fp
  Replies (14) Good night (3091) Bad night (708)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately

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  (913): Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately http://tfl.nu/v1vv
  Replies (8) Good night (1514) Bad night (513)
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  (65): View more from

  Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.

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  (65): Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job. http://tfl.nu/eg09
  Replies (4) Good night (552) Bad night (986)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.

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  (716): The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man. http://tfl.nu/vdpw
  Replies (7) Good night (2621) Bad night (523)
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  (818): View more from California

  I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...

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  (818): I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke... http://tfl.nu/h1hr
  Replies (3) Good night (1897) Bad night (743)
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  (626): View more from California

  Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy

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  (626): Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy http://tfl.nu/8u1j
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (1572)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".

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  (859): Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises". http://tfl.nu/cuat
  Replies (11) Good night (276) Bad night (687)
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  (510): View more from California

  I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.

  (707): View more from California

  The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.

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  (510): I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no. (707): The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off. http://tfl.nu/haix
  Replies (0) Good night (664) Bad night (198)

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