So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?