Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.

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  (518): Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion. http://tfl.nu/ju2t
  Replies (49) Good night (2892) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Hurt me personally.

  (954): View more from Florida

  Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though

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  (954): Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass? (1-954): Hurt me personally. (954): Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though http://tfl.nu/ypmo
  Replies (18) Good night (2026) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail

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  (801): Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail http://tfl.nu/5fc6
  Replies (47) Good night (4681) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries

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  (630): it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries http://tfl.nu/1l92
  Replies (23) Good night (880) Bad night (3807)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?

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  (803): Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation? http://tfl.nu/0dba
  Replies (15) Good night (4989) Bad night (1837)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk

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  (218): No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/i2q3
  Replies (22) Good night (1222) Bad night (4498)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.

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  (607): I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex. http://tfl.nu/9fy5
  Replies (14) Good night (4427) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.

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  (307): Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka. http://tfl.nu/40xv
  Replies (4) Good night (2554) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.

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  (804): We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt. http://tfl.nu/2b1c
  Replies (7) Good night (791) Bad night (1947)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.

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  (610): I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA. http://tfl.nu/fhl1
  Replies (5) Good night (1164) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.

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  (301): He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home. http://tfl.nu/hk8n
  Replies (15) Good night (1646) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.

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  (317): I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe. http://tfl.nu/1bo6
  Replies (2) Good night (596) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.

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  (917): Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society. http://tfl.nu/2sl2
  Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Remember when I said I had my shit together?

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  (203): I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room..... (203): Remember when I said I had my shit together? http://tfl.nu/xvhs
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.

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  (970): There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner. http://tfl.nu/d05g
  Replies (2) Good night (483) Bad night (293)

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