bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..