somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.