Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.

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  (917): She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun. http://tfl.nu/sejn
  Replies (23) Good night (2987) Bad night (921)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.

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  (317): I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands. http://tfl.nu/acvp
  Replies (42) Good night (4435) Bad night (1665)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.

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  (413): I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic. http://tfl.nu/sxvb
  Replies (80) Good night (31810) Bad night (1348)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move

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  (319): Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move http://tfl.nu/sk1v
  Replies (15) Good night (4583) Bad night (703)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...

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  (309): it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with... http://tfl.nu/q2va
  Replies (23) Good night (6284) Bad night (1304)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.

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  (509): He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that. http://tfl.nu/zg72
  Replies (31) Good night (5410) Bad night (2282)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.

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  (859): I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat. http://tfl.nu/m2ko
  Replies (9) Good night (5365) Bad night (1230)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right

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  (920): Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right http://tfl.nu/du0e
  Replies (24) Good night (6325) Bad night (885)
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  (909): View more from California

  It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?

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  (909): It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it? http://tfl.nu/yjug
  Replies (8) Good night (1991) Bad night (799)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.

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  (918): Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business. http://tfl.nu/hekp
  Replies (7) Good night (723) Bad night (1178)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night

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  (315): I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night http://tfl.nu/ggh6
  Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (1847)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights

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  (312): I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights http://tfl.nu/amvj
  Replies (5) Good night (1101) Bad night (503)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".

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  (902): I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores". http://tfl.nu/4gk3
  Replies (3) Good night (882) Bad night (526)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."

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  (228): I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult." http://tfl.nu/mdv1
  Replies (4) Good night (1155) Bad night (649)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.

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  (256): Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention. http://tfl.nu/44p2
  Replies (4) Good night (1225) Bad night (381)

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