What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
