How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
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