Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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