please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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