Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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