U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
