happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
