he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
