There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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