I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize