Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I deserve this hangover.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
