guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
