belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
