Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
