Are we in a gay sports bar?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
