So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize