I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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