It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My breasts were aching with rage.
MIDGETS
????
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
