Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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