Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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