im drinking this country out of the recession.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
