Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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