I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
