..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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