Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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