We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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