Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need to sanitize my soul.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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