dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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