I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You can't just leave with hair like that
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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