Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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