just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
